Happy Mother's Day!!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!
I woke up this morning with 3 pressies. One from Ellen done at kinder, one from Phaedon also done at kinder (3yo), and one from my dear husband, Peter. Ellen did a drawing, Phaedon did a handprint-colouring-in with a poem, and another painting that has been framed, and a corrugated heart-shaped magnet, and Peter bought me a bottle of fragrance... Michael Kors' Island. I absolutely adore the bottle! Shame it's too heavy to go on a layout...
I have been busy scrapping this week. I am guest designing for Designing Memories' June kit. I have finished the layouts. Will post it when the kit goes online for sale.
I had an encounter with someone really nasty this week. I won't mention names here but I just wanted to share the story.
A kit club was looking for a designer to fill one of their spots. I wrote in to ask if they are still looking for someone, and if they think I was suitable, we could discuss further. The owner wrote back to say she has seen my work and think they are good, BUT she feels that my work is very similar to XXXX's, and then proceeded to ask me if I "feel" that we are similar. **insert dumb-founded emoticon** Then she asked if I would be too busy to do work for her because I am in the FK DT. And then offered me a 1-month trial.
Under any other circumstances, I think the 1-month trial is a great idea, and a perfect time for us to find out if this was what we both really wanted. However, I was concerned that she felt that my work is very similar to XXXX's. Scrapbooking in the online world IS in fact a very visual thing. Many times, you have to physically see the layout IRL to realise it's actually quite different. And this being an online kit club, she will only ever see my layouts via an image. What difference would it make if I told her "I don't FEEL that our work is similar"? You mean by me telling her that I don't feel that our work is similar, she'll believe me and will not ever think that again?
For me to work for someone, I find it very hard if you already have a perception of my style being similar to someone else's. I will constantly think about that, and worry about whether she thinks my work is once again similar to XXXX's. Even if I told you that our style is different, I seriously doubt it would change how you feel because it is how you feel.
So I wrote back and thanked her for the opportunity she wants to offer me. And said that I will find it hard to create freely without thinking what she's going to think of my work. And I also said that I wished she hadn't made that comparison out loud because from now on, I can't help but think about that everytime I scrap. It's like telling an artist... you paint like someone else, you act like someone else, you sing like someone else..... iykwim?
She wrote back. To sum it all up,
a) she is sorry that I took it as a criticism
b) I obviously feel very strongly about not wanting to be compared to XXXX (DUH!!) ... and that if I let it sit on the back of my mind, that is very unfortunate.
c) .... that my convictions in my own abilities and style should be stronger than this.....
d) ... that she has always been forward and honest.... and for me to take offence is honestly very silly
e) .... since we haven't connected in a good way, it wouldn't be a good idea for me to join her team
**insert more dumb-founded emoticons here**
I don't think she was sorry, at all. She just made me look and feel even smaller than before. Ok... I am normally a confident person but I'm probably not confident enough to ignore what people think of my work. I can take it if you feel that the embellishment didn't look right, or the paper / colour combination is weird, or this layout is not quite balanced... but telling it to my face that my work is similar to someone else's... is not what I call constructive criticism. Just made me rethink all this time, what have I been doing??? Just copying someone's style?
But once said, it's out there. I was hurt. And I felt even smaller with her reply. I now know that there is this breed of human beings out there, who has no qualms about hurting other's feelings, and don't even feel that they have done anything wrong, and that it is just the other person being silly. You can't just say things without processing your thoughts first. You may well be bullet-proof and don't give 2 hoots about mean comments. But you are just another human being. One day, someone will say something that hits your nerve and you'll be called the silly one because you took offence.
I've seen a lot of bitchiness going around in this scrapbooking community, but now I've experienced it first hand, and I didn't even ask for it. But I guess I did, I wanted to be on her DT. Just another ugly side of scrapbooking I've seen.
And for the record: No, I do not think my style is similar to XXXX's. There are only 2 things I have in common with XXXX ..... 1) We scrap great layouts 2) We are human beings with a good heart.
I woke up this morning with 3 pressies. One from Ellen done at kinder, one from Phaedon also done at kinder (3yo), and one from my dear husband, Peter. Ellen did a drawing, Phaedon did a handprint-colouring-in with a poem, and another painting that has been framed, and a corrugated heart-shaped magnet, and Peter bought me a bottle of fragrance... Michael Kors' Island. I absolutely adore the bottle! Shame it's too heavy to go on a layout...
I have been busy scrapping this week. I am guest designing for Designing Memories' June kit. I have finished the layouts. Will post it when the kit goes online for sale.
I had an encounter with someone really nasty this week. I won't mention names here but I just wanted to share the story.
A kit club was looking for a designer to fill one of their spots. I wrote in to ask if they are still looking for someone, and if they think I was suitable, we could discuss further. The owner wrote back to say she has seen my work and think they are good, BUT she feels that my work is very similar to XXXX's, and then proceeded to ask me if I "feel" that we are similar. **insert dumb-founded emoticon** Then she asked if I would be too busy to do work for her because I am in the FK DT. And then offered me a 1-month trial.
Under any other circumstances, I think the 1-month trial is a great idea, and a perfect time for us to find out if this was what we both really wanted. However, I was concerned that she felt that my work is very similar to XXXX's. Scrapbooking in the online world IS in fact a very visual thing. Many times, you have to physically see the layout IRL to realise it's actually quite different. And this being an online kit club, she will only ever see my layouts via an image. What difference would it make if I told her "I don't FEEL that our work is similar"? You mean by me telling her that I don't feel that our work is similar, she'll believe me and will not ever think that again?
For me to work for someone, I find it very hard if you already have a perception of my style being similar to someone else's. I will constantly think about that, and worry about whether she thinks my work is once again similar to XXXX's. Even if I told you that our style is different, I seriously doubt it would change how you feel because it is how you feel.
So I wrote back and thanked her for the opportunity she wants to offer me. And said that I will find it hard to create freely without thinking what she's going to think of my work. And I also said that I wished she hadn't made that comparison out loud because from now on, I can't help but think about that everytime I scrap. It's like telling an artist... you paint like someone else, you act like someone else, you sing like someone else..... iykwim?
She wrote back. To sum it all up,
a) she is sorry that I took it as a criticism
b) I obviously feel very strongly about not wanting to be compared to XXXX (DUH!!) ... and that if I let it sit on the back of my mind, that is very unfortunate.
c) .... that my convictions in my own abilities and style should be stronger than this.....
d) ... that she has always been forward and honest.... and for me to take offence is honestly very silly
e) .... since we haven't connected in a good way, it wouldn't be a good idea for me to join her team
**insert more dumb-founded emoticons here**
I don't think she was sorry, at all. She just made me look and feel even smaller than before. Ok... I am normally a confident person but I'm probably not confident enough to ignore what people think of my work. I can take it if you feel that the embellishment didn't look right, or the paper / colour combination is weird, or this layout is not quite balanced... but telling it to my face that my work is similar to someone else's... is not what I call constructive criticism. Just made me rethink all this time, what have I been doing??? Just copying someone's style?
But once said, it's out there. I was hurt. And I felt even smaller with her reply. I now know that there is this breed of human beings out there, who has no qualms about hurting other's feelings, and don't even feel that they have done anything wrong, and that it is just the other person being silly. You can't just say things without processing your thoughts first. You may well be bullet-proof and don't give 2 hoots about mean comments. But you are just another human being. One day, someone will say something that hits your nerve and you'll be called the silly one because you took offence.
I've seen a lot of bitchiness going around in this scrapbooking community, but now I've experienced it first hand, and I didn't even ask for it. But I guess I did, I wanted to be on her DT. Just another ugly side of scrapbooking I've seen.
And for the record: No, I do not think my style is similar to XXXX's. There are only 2 things I have in common with XXXX ..... 1) We scrap great layouts 2) We are human beings with a good heart.
posted by mich at
12:23
12 Comments:
Hi Michelle! Glad you had a lovely mothers day.
What a strange and yukky situation you were put in and the reply you got was very uncalled for. It's his/her loss as you are both a wonderful person and talented scrapper!
Mich, what an odd, totally lacking in grace person and really, just as well you are not with the team !!! Even a popular Canadian manufacturer who was recently in Spore (who shall rweamain unamed) said that SB is a hugely bithcy community as you get more well known ! For the record ~ your pages are fabulous, and not just because I know you. Rremember those gawd awful papers from the stingy LSS that you totally rocked with Phaedon's pic ??? And we know how hard you worked to get where you are !!!
In Singapore I am beginning to see it is not all happy-happy, peace and inspiration either ! As the SB community is now larger, the more compeptitive scrappers who want to get somewhere are beginning to show their claws *alamak can faint from all the politics !!!!*
I'm sorry to hear that, Mich...sigh...
Don't let it effect you.
You work are amazing!!!:-D
Mich, I am absolutely shocked at what has happened. I would be absolutely horrified if something like that happened to me. It is sad that sometimes people forget that with scrapbooking and the online community, as scrappers, we put ourselves out there, we share our lives, we share our deepest thoughts, we share our fondest memories, we share our hurts & disappointment and we do it all through our art - scrapbooking. And to have someone 'judge' that your work is similar to another scrapbooker is just devastating. Mich, you are a fabulous scrapbooker, with a fabulous eye for colour, a passion for chipboard and texture, a great story teller and I have seen first hand how you scrap..every detail is carefully thought out, agonised over and planned. I hope you can put those hurtful comments behind you and keep scrapping.
hay there
don't let it discourage you. There are people out there that have no tact and no regard for how others feel. Your work is amazing and it is a shame that on one hand there are so many friends made through this amzing craft and there are other people out there who won't even hesitate to bring you down. just remember you are the bigger person for the way you have responded to the situation.
BLOGGING HELPS US ALL VENT.
Hi Mich, I sometimes wonder what prompts people to behave so disgracefully and I think it all comes down to insecurity. I think you handled the situation with a lot of tact and grace. It's easier said than done to say "Don't let it affect you" but I hope you'll take comfort in those who admire your (hard) work. It's a pity that something as lovely and personal as scrapbooking has gotten so bitchy. Not to even talk abt the commercial side of SB, even the scrappers themselves are getting bitchy. I attended a crop recently and one of them, whom I don't even know and who obviously fancied herself as some sort of "celebrity scrapper", showed that she was unhappy to share her scrap space (she took a space meant for two) and did not even bother to look up when I said goodbye. As far as I am concerned, people like that are not worth bothering with. You cheer up, girl! :)
Hi Mich,
I wouldnt have taken it the wrong way, you were compared to someone else who is also a very talented scrapper,and i LOVE both your work. Pictures just dont do any justice for peoples layouts as they look so different IRL. I do agree on 1 thing the scrapping world is very bitchy and disheartening. Keep your Chin up and keep doing your FAB layouts.
Tara
Mich, anyone who knows you or has seen you scrap can have no doubt that your work is 100% uniquely you. There are always going to be clean & simple scrappers, shabby chic scrappers etc. but that's an overall trend and it's just plain rude to suggest that your work is similar to another's. Your work is amazing and beautiful and anyone who doesn't want you on their DT is clearly nuts.
Jess
I love that you dealt with the situation with such grace :o) I think your work is awesome!!!
Also, just read your previous post about the Malaysian cafe, I am going to have to try it some day. Nothing quite like some really authentic Singaporean and Malaysian food, especially when mum doesn't want to cook!
Hey thanks for coming by ! Gosh my previous post must have had you cross-eyed from the horrendous spelling !! I have *NEW* glasses on, with progressive lenses lah ..... so all the pc type on screen looks blurry, plus typing late at night *LOL*
Remind me to tell you all about the long-long drama-drama here *sigh*
There really is some rude people out there... That is no way to treat someone wanting to join your team, let alone run a business.
Don't worry about it, just keep doing what you are doing, stay true to you, because I see nothing wrong with being "similar". After all, we all cant keep re-inventing the wheel...
Michelle, ahhh dont let it get to you...if people wanna be getting crabby just be the bigger person. You know you rock.. thats all that matters. I just dont understand the competiveness (sp) of scrapbooking myself. As I always say "it aint United Nations.. it's only scrapbooking" really makes my mind boogle at the things I hear!.. oh and remind me to tell you MY story sometime (only it was said TO MY FACE)
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