Mischief or Bully?
This is a vent. I am not the kind of mother who blindly believes her children can do no wrong. I'm always objective and I will fight for my children if I had to. But in this case, I don't know what I should do.
I did kinder duty today, and it's my 3rd time. Out of the 3 times I've been there, I've seen first hand, this kid who is just a pain to discipline, and I know the parents are solely to be blamed. Because I have no one to look after Phaedon, I have to take him with me to Ellen's kinder whenever I'm on duty. The teachers are fine with that so long as I understand that he will be my responsibility. I accept that too. But the last time I was on duty, it was during outdoor playtime that I witnessed my son being "bullied". Phaedon was innocently riding his bike on the bike track, as were a few other kids. Somehow one of Phaedon's bike's wheels went off track. So he stopped to try to drag his bike back onto the track again standing on his tippy toes. R who has been told many times (by the teachers and myself, and that is only that day while I was on duty, so I'd hate to think how many times he'd been told... PERIOD.) that he has to slow down, and not to bump other kids' bikes if they were stopped in front of him. He was going soooo fast, and I could see he had no intention whatsoever to slow down or stop where Phaedon was, and slammed right on the side of Phaedon's bike, like he was seeking thrill. It was like witnessing a horrific traffic accident. I saw my son literally thrown out of his bike, flew and landed face first, a foot away from his bike. The teacher witnessed that as well and immediately dragged him out of outdoor playtime, and banned him from playing on the bikes for the next day too. My son wasn't hurt too bad but was of course very shaken, and so was I.
Yesterday (Monday), I was on duty again. This time it happened to my daughter. He wasn't violent or anything, but this time he stole. I'm sorry I had to use that word, but there is no other description. I packed 2 bananas and 2 packets of sultanas (those little red boxes) for my kids' morning tea in Ellen's lunch box. Morning tea came, and Ellen got the lunch box out of her bag, opened it, took the sultanas out of the box and left them on the table, and must have walked away to get her water bottle or something. When she got back, she said that her sultanas were gone! Because my brains are missing a lot of things lately, I was doubting myself if I had even packed those sultanas in! We tried looking around for them, and asked around to see if the teachers saw them, but no luck. So I comforted her and said that she can have some sultanas when she gets home. Towards the end of morning tea, Ellen exclaimed very loudly that R was eating her sultanas! Now, I do not like to accuse when I didn't have proof. R had only 1 box of sultanas in his hands, box was a little crushed, and he was scoffing. He could have had that in his lunch box, no one knows! So I told Ellen to stop saying what she was saying, and tried distracting her again. By the end of the morning tea session, I saw R placed a 2nd box of sultanas, box also a bit crushed, on the table and pushed it towards Ellen. Now this got me thinking. So I asked him,
"R, where did you "find" this?" (referring to the 2nd box of sultanas)
"Under my bum."
***SHOCK*** BUT I KEPT CALM
"R, where did you take this from to put under your bum?"
"Ellen."
I went straight to the teacher and told her the story. All she could do was tell him off, that he is not allowed to do that, and that if he wanted sultanas, he should get his mother to pack it for him, and he shouldn't take other kids' food.
I can understand that there wasn't much the teacher can do... which is why I'm upset. This little rascal did this WITH intention. He saw us looking for it. He even opened up the packet to eat it! Sure he wasn't just teasing!! Do you think he was just being a 4yo menace? Or is he a bully?? It's a packet of sultanas now, but what next?!?!?!?!
This has bothered me all day. I don't know if I want to approach the mother! What if she's a cow, and bullies my daughter when she's on duty?!?! I can understand every parent has a different set of values on disciplining their children, but if they have done a half decent job, the child wouldn't be taking things from others, using it and keeping quiet about it!!!!! I've seen this mother before. She seems like a very pleasant lady. I can't see how the son is just a plain rascal! Although that said, I tried asking her to help out on a Saturday for 1 lousy hour at a kinder fundraiser, and she can pick the time, she turned around and said she cannot because they go to church!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me all Christians reading this, I'm about to swear here so please look away .... WHAT A F$%*^(#@ JOKE!!!! I'm thinking in my mind .... and now out loud.... ALL FRIGGIN' DAY??????? Your son is a classic example of a good church boy!
I'm sorry.... if I've offended any Christians but this is not meant to be a religious attack, but I'm just very angry. I'm angry and disturbed and frankly, upset, because I felt that there's nothing I can do to protect my kids from him.
So if anyone has any bright ideas, please enlighten me. I'd love to hear from you.
xxxooo
I did kinder duty today, and it's my 3rd time. Out of the 3 times I've been there, I've seen first hand, this kid who is just a pain to discipline, and I know the parents are solely to be blamed. Because I have no one to look after Phaedon, I have to take him with me to Ellen's kinder whenever I'm on duty. The teachers are fine with that so long as I understand that he will be my responsibility. I accept that too. But the last time I was on duty, it was during outdoor playtime that I witnessed my son being "bullied". Phaedon was innocently riding his bike on the bike track, as were a few other kids. Somehow one of Phaedon's bike's wheels went off track. So he stopped to try to drag his bike back onto the track again standing on his tippy toes. R who has been told many times (by the teachers and myself, and that is only that day while I was on duty, so I'd hate to think how many times he'd been told... PERIOD.) that he has to slow down, and not to bump other kids' bikes if they were stopped in front of him. He was going soooo fast, and I could see he had no intention whatsoever to slow down or stop where Phaedon was, and slammed right on the side of Phaedon's bike, like he was seeking thrill. It was like witnessing a horrific traffic accident. I saw my son literally thrown out of his bike, flew and landed face first, a foot away from his bike. The teacher witnessed that as well and immediately dragged him out of outdoor playtime, and banned him from playing on the bikes for the next day too. My son wasn't hurt too bad but was of course very shaken, and so was I.
Yesterday (Monday), I was on duty again. This time it happened to my daughter. He wasn't violent or anything, but this time he stole. I'm sorry I had to use that word, but there is no other description. I packed 2 bananas and 2 packets of sultanas (those little red boxes) for my kids' morning tea in Ellen's lunch box. Morning tea came, and Ellen got the lunch box out of her bag, opened it, took the sultanas out of the box and left them on the table, and must have walked away to get her water bottle or something. When she got back, she said that her sultanas were gone! Because my brains are missing a lot of things lately, I was doubting myself if I had even packed those sultanas in! We tried looking around for them, and asked around to see if the teachers saw them, but no luck. So I comforted her and said that she can have some sultanas when she gets home. Towards the end of morning tea, Ellen exclaimed very loudly that R was eating her sultanas! Now, I do not like to accuse when I didn't have proof. R had only 1 box of sultanas in his hands, box was a little crushed, and he was scoffing. He could have had that in his lunch box, no one knows! So I told Ellen to stop saying what she was saying, and tried distracting her again. By the end of the morning tea session, I saw R placed a 2nd box of sultanas, box also a bit crushed, on the table and pushed it towards Ellen. Now this got me thinking. So I asked him,
"R, where did you "find" this?" (referring to the 2nd box of sultanas)
"Under my bum."
***SHOCK*** BUT I KEPT CALM
"R, where did you take this from to put under your bum?"
"Ellen."
I went straight to the teacher and told her the story. All she could do was tell him off, that he is not allowed to do that, and that if he wanted sultanas, he should get his mother to pack it for him, and he shouldn't take other kids' food.
I can understand that there wasn't much the teacher can do... which is why I'm upset. This little rascal did this WITH intention. He saw us looking for it. He even opened up the packet to eat it! Sure he wasn't just teasing!! Do you think he was just being a 4yo menace? Or is he a bully?? It's a packet of sultanas now, but what next?!?!?!?!
This has bothered me all day. I don't know if I want to approach the mother! What if she's a cow, and bullies my daughter when she's on duty?!?! I can understand every parent has a different set of values on disciplining their children, but if they have done a half decent job, the child wouldn't be taking things from others, using it and keeping quiet about it!!!!! I've seen this mother before. She seems like a very pleasant lady. I can't see how the son is just a plain rascal! Although that said, I tried asking her to help out on a Saturday for 1 lousy hour at a kinder fundraiser, and she can pick the time, she turned around and said she cannot because they go to church!!!!!!!!!! Excuse me all Christians reading this, I'm about to swear here so please look away .... WHAT A F$%*^(#@ JOKE!!!! I'm thinking in my mind .... and now out loud.... ALL FRIGGIN' DAY??????? Your son is a classic example of a good church boy!
I'm sorry.... if I've offended any Christians but this is not meant to be a religious attack, but I'm just very angry. I'm angry and disturbed and frankly, upset, because I felt that there's nothing I can do to protect my kids from him.
So if anyone has any bright ideas, please enlighten me. I'd love to hear from you.
xxxooo
posted by mich at
23:46
8 Comments:
omg, what a horrible thing to happen to Phaedon. And the stealing is pretty bad too. At 4, the child may have no sense of what is right or wrong. That is something that they have to be taught by those that are caring for them. I'm no expert but suggestions of how to deal with this would be to related it to feelings. EG You took Ellen's sultanas, she was looking forward to having those sultanas for morning tea, now she is hungry and you made her sad by taking her sultanas. Maybe next time you can ask her to share some sultanas with you.
Sad to say this, but you have to educate your child to notice what R is doing and to report him to the teacher whenever he is doing something wrong.
Hi Michelle,
I have been on both sides. I have a 4 year-old that has taken things from kinder (not an individuals things but kinder things) and I am a Kinder teacher! LOL
I must admit, generally when children's behaviour is bad it relates back to the parents or things happening at home. But saying that the kinder teacher should be (and may be) actually notifying the parents of such behaviour and coming up with strategies to deal with the behaviours.
If I was you, I would approach the teacher to make an appropriate time to speak to her and write down your concrens so that you are clear about what you want to say. She is ultimately responsible for your childs safety so you have every right to question how it's being dealt with.
Lou
I have an idea but it is probably way to graphic to describe here! LOL
Glad that your little boy was ok. Do look out for some snail mail crawling your way! Hope that makes you feel a little better! *wink*
"I have an idea but it is probably way to graphic to describe here! LOL " LOL, my sentiments exactly!
Thats terrible! He sounds like a little turd.. (sorry!)
I would definitely raise it with the teachers and I think they should be talking to his parents about his behaviour. We had a child that was asked to leave our pre-school after continual bullying of the other children. I feel sorry for some kids because they may not know any better (due the poor parenting examples set by their parents) but, nope, not on!
*HUGS* to you Mich. If it were to be me, when I saw Seth being knocked down by the little rascal, I would have loose my control and gave him a good lashing of my tongue. Sorry, I am that impulsive type. Especially knowing that R is the notorious one in the school.
Sad to say, heee.. I am a Christian too but may not be a everyday good example of how a Christian behaves. But am learning.....
There are times, such issues has to be taken up to teacher and ensure that the teacher does talk to the parent of the problem kid. Rather than a direct confrontation by you, to avoid any bad experience.
Discipline at home is indeed more important than what is being taught in school, if a parent can do a simple descent thing as to teach what is stealing and stop the kids from doing that, I am sorry to say such a parent is a failure.
That's just me.
Jeepers Michelle :o
I would be talking to the teachers, voicing my concerns to perhaps sleak to the parents.. probably will fall on deaf ears but its worth a try..
I know he's just a kid.. but boy.. he wouldn't get very far with me, I'm a bit strict :P Just ask Bella :) LOL
OK if all else fails......
Next time you are on roster pack the kids some sultanas and add a little pepper or salt to them(first thought was chilli but that could be going too far) and tell your kids NOT to eat them.
I guarantee he won't steal them again!! Mwa ha ha ha!!
But seriously the teacher should or may even be talking to the parents about this.
Alyssa had a kindy teacher who wouldn't have given a shite about this though!! A girl in her kindy totally picked on another girl in the class so much that the first girl stopped talking to everyone at kindy (even the teacher). She did not talk for about4-6 weeks at kindy and the teacher never told the parents!! WTF?!?
OMG! I have no advices but just want to send you a BIG HUG!!!
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